Glockneeb, nearing his discharge from the U.S. Army, is worried.
When the last letter from his sweetheart, Fanny Tushbottom, ends abruptly in mid-sentence, he senses that something is wrong, especially after his calls to her are not answered. He desperately wants to return to civilian life and locate her.
Directly after his release from the military, he visits Fanny’s apartment where he finds a bar napkin with a mysterious and puzzling message inside one of her shoes. When he is unable to decipher the message on the napkin, he reluctantly enlists the help of his long-time friend, Moose, who runs (though not very successfully) his own private investigation agency.
In a story that is humorous and fast-paced, and full of innuendos and double entendres, Glockneeb, Moose, and ultimately the F.B.I., use the few clues they have to see if they can track down the love of Glockneeb’s life.
Of course, making progress is sometimes difficult as the two bumbling main characters play off each other. Glockneeb, who suffers from A.S.S. (Anti-Social Syndrome), has delusions of grandeur and feelings of superiority. In addition, he is ultra-intelligent but whiny. His friend Moose is the opposite, with his clumsy, outgoing, strong personality, he is likely to take action, even before thinking things through.
As they muddle through their investigation, we are left to wonder if there is any way that they can ever find Fanny.