Has Anyone Seen My Fanny?


As the morning gave way to another hot Texas day, Specialist E5 Glockneeb Graymatter performed his daily ritual of meticulously crossing off another day of military service on the calendar. He was just three days from receiving his honorable discharge from the United States Army’s elite fighting force, the U.S. Strangers.
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The first thing Moose noticed when they got back to the office was the flashing message light on the phone, indicating that there were three new messages. He pushed the button, and the first message began to play back.
“Hello, Moose, this is Doctor Coldfinger, your proctologist. I was just wondering if you’d be interested in having lunch with me next week.”
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The agency was located on the seedier, less chic part of Melrose. It was wedged between a politically correct adult book store called PC Porn and a New Age place called Window to Your Sole, which specialized in magnetic pyramids, yogurt enemas, and two-inch lifts for short actors with Napoleon complexes.
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